i just identified you from a description of your pipe
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Just high enough for therapy.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
