At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
