Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
