I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
accomplished twins. life is a go
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Houston, we have a squirter
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
