dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
