I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
