My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
