i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
