You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
should my penis look like a turkey
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Randomize
