what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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