There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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