Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
The cops high fived after they tackled you
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
