I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
