We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i think i have two assholes
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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