Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I wish I could punch you in the face.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
