we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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