we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
