It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I FOUND THE LEGS
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
