Having a random hookup so left but love u
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
