If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
