my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
