mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
