There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
