Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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