The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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