wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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