with your own penis?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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