'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
whose ass print is on the piano?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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