That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
