Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
