Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
