eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
