I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
