I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
