Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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