who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
