It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
