No, you can still breathe under the balls.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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