I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
My balls are so social today.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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