You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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