it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
