The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
