Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Ladies don't puke and tell
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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