Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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