forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
