covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
my shit smells like andre
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
