She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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