I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
