I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
