we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
