Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
