Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Do you still have your period?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
