every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
