good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
