it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
