That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
