I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
