i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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