also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Randomize
