How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize
