WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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