wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
