yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize