We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
