Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
